Would it do any good? To know that you suffer for my sake, that you feel it as keenly as I do, that if I allowed it, you would have me in a moment, and all that it would cost would be everything?
[Her laugh is low and bitter, and she shakes her head, but her eyes return to his and she cannot turn her gaze away. He looks so worn and weary, and it aches in her chest, a feeling that is guilt as much as sorrow. It is bad enough to think of how this pains her, but her pain is her own to bear: to know for certain that it wounds him, too, is a far deeper cut.]
No. No, it would do no good.
[Her eyes dart past him, to the door, and then to and fro, as though to check one more time that they are alone. Then, with a speed that aims to outpace doubt, she reaches out to grab his sleeve, drawing him towards her mount's stall. It will not make their conversation entirely private, but it may go some way towards it. (And that thought, predictably, comes with a thrill of both excitement and dread at what privacy could portend - but she does it anyway, because in the moment, she cannot help herself)]
[Pulling the stable door closed behind them, she lets go of his wrist and turns to face him, her expression no longer guarded, mirroring his own. Her voice is low and serious, but comes in a rush nonetheless, the words falling over one another in their haste to be spoken.]
I am not better at this than you. I only know more keenly what might be lost, by failing. And yet I have thought of you endlessly, and each time your name has been raised, it has struck me to the core, and each time I have seen you, I have wanted you nearer, and I have wept for it, and I have not slept for want of you, and it is driving me mad. I have never felt loneliness so keenly, and I had resigned myself to loneliness before you came, I have borne it since my brother rode out to fight, but I cannot bear this.
I cannot bear this, Daario. [Her eyes search his face. She has stepped away from him, her hand no longer at his arm, and yet she cannot seem to draw back more than a little way, as though there is something still binding her, drawing her in. There is a lump in her throat, treasonous and unwanted.] To have you is to risk your life, and my lord's safety, and all the kingdom, and all that I love. To turn from you should be so simple a thing, and yet...
[She lets out a long, shuddering breath and lets her hands fall to her sides.]
Do not tell me of the pain it causes you. I am no less wounded. It serves no end to dwell on pain, unless we can answer it.
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sforzinda
no subject
Date: 2023-05-06 03:58 pm (UTC)[Her laugh is low and bitter, and she shakes her head, but her eyes return to his and she cannot turn her gaze away. He looks so worn and weary, and it aches in her chest, a feeling that is guilt as much as sorrow. It is bad enough to think of how this pains her, but her pain is her own to bear: to know for certain that it wounds him, too, is a far deeper cut.]
No. No, it would do no good.
[Her eyes dart past him, to the door, and then to and fro, as though to check one more time that they are alone. Then, with a speed that aims to outpace doubt, she reaches out to grab his sleeve, drawing him towards her mount's stall. It will not make their conversation entirely private, but it may go some way towards it. (And that thought, predictably, comes with a thrill of both excitement and dread at what privacy could portend - but she does it anyway, because in the moment, she cannot help herself)]
[Pulling the stable door closed behind them, she lets go of his wrist and turns to face him, her expression no longer guarded, mirroring his own. Her voice is low and serious, but comes in a rush nonetheless, the words falling over one another in their haste to be spoken.]
I am not better at this than you. I only know more keenly what might be lost, by failing. And yet I have thought of you endlessly, and each time your name has been raised, it has struck me to the core, and each time I have seen you, I have wanted you nearer, and I have wept for it, and I have not slept for want of you, and it is driving me mad. I have never felt loneliness so keenly, and I had resigned myself to loneliness before you came, I have borne it since my brother rode out to fight, but I cannot bear this.
I cannot bear this, Daario. [Her eyes search his face. She has stepped away from him, her hand no longer at his arm, and yet she cannot seem to draw back more than a little way, as though there is something still binding her, drawing her in. There is a lump in her throat, treasonous and unwanted.] To have you is to risk your life, and my lord's safety, and all the kingdom, and all that I love. To turn from you should be so simple a thing, and yet...
[She lets out a long, shuddering breath and lets her hands fall to her sides.]
Do not tell me of the pain it causes you. I am no less wounded. It serves no end to dwell on pain, unless we can answer it.
What are we to do?